1 00:00:10,134 --> 00:00:11,134 Oops. 2 00:00:36,375 --> 00:00:40,686 ♪ Tell me why I love you like I do 3 00:00:40,824 --> 00:00:43,548 ♪ And tell me who can stop my heart 4 00:00:43,686 --> 00:00:45,272 ♪ As much as you 5 00:00:45,410 --> 00:00:47,341 ♪ Let's take each other's hand 6 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,548 ♪ And jump into the final frontier ♪ 7 00:00:59,238 --> 00:01:01,273 Okay, Mabel, let me ask you. 8 00:01:01,411 --> 00:01:03,307 She's your mother, so you know her. 9 00:01:03,445 --> 00:01:06,169 Which do you think she would rather have for Mother's Day? 10 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:10,582 Choice A, a lovely scarf. See? 11 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,893 That she can wear about the neck, 12 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,927 and when she gets older, about the head. 13 00:01:18,031 --> 00:01:19,065 All right, sure. 14 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,307 Or potential gift number two, 15 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,342 nut clusters. 16 00:01:25,514 --> 00:01:26,858 Okay. 17 00:01:26,996 --> 00:01:28,076 You know what? 18 00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:30,652 You're really not helping much here. 19 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,135 And need I remind you 20 00:01:32,273 --> 00:01:33,903 that both our names are gonna be on this gift, 21 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,825 so you might wanna shape up, my little honey. 22 00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:37,996 Yeah. 23 00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:39,687 Hey, Paulie, James home? 24 00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:41,790 Uh... No. She and Fran went to Nike town. 25 00:01:41,928 --> 00:01:43,825 Great. Marvin, bring it in. 26 00:01:44,342 --> 00:01:45,342 Bring what in? 27 00:01:45,411 --> 00:01:47,065 It's my Mother's Day gift for James. 28 00:01:47,204 --> 00:01:49,480 I brought it today because I'm working on Sunday. 29 00:01:49,618 --> 00:01:50,825 A rocking chair? 30 00:01:50,963 --> 00:01:51,963 Yes. 31 00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:53,066 That's a great present. 32 00:01:53,135 --> 00:01:54,687 I know. She can sit, she can rock. 33 00:01:54,825 --> 00:01:56,066 Oh, look at this. 34 00:01:56,204 --> 00:01:57,376 She can hold Mabel, 35 00:01:57,514 --> 00:01:59,318 she can rock her to sleep, and she can sing to her. 36 00:01:59,342 --> 00:02:00,382 She could sing. Of course. 37 00:02:00,514 --> 00:02:02,273 Old MacDonald, farmer in the dell, 38 00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:03,894 do you know the muffin man? 39 00:02:04,032 --> 00:02:06,652 I get it. All songs would work with the chair. This is... 40 00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:08,205 This is a great present. 41 00:02:08,342 --> 00:02:09,445 Well, thank you. 42 00:02:09,583 --> 00:02:11,223 You know what this means, don't you? What? 43 00:02:11,308 --> 00:02:13,387 My wife is getting a better Mother's Day present from you 44 00:02:13,411 --> 00:02:14,445 than she is from me. 45 00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:15,790 Why? What are you giving her? 46 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,066 Ah, nut clusters. 47 00:02:18,756 --> 00:02:19,756 Nut clusters? 48 00:02:19,825 --> 00:02:20,825 Or a scarf. 49 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,308 Anything else? 50 00:02:22,377 --> 00:02:23,825 Maybe nut clusters and a scarf. 51 00:02:24,549 --> 00:02:26,239 I know what you do. 52 00:02:26,377 --> 00:02:27,790 You're keeping the standards low. 53 00:02:27,928 --> 00:02:29,894 That way, next year, Mother's Day rolls around, 54 00:02:30,032 --> 00:02:31,388 and you get her like a pizza or something, 55 00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:32,790 you're a big star. 56 00:02:32,928 --> 00:02:34,446 Okay, here's what's gonna happen. 57 00:02:34,584 --> 00:02:35,894 I'm giving her the rocking chair. 58 00:02:37,652 --> 00:02:38,732 What's the matter with you? 59 00:02:38,756 --> 00:02:40,388 Please? Let me give her the rocking chair. 60 00:02:40,412 --> 00:02:42,032 It's such a great present. 61 00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,239 Paulie, come on. Please? 62 00:02:43,377 --> 00:02:44,801 Listen, I'll give her the rocking chair, 63 00:02:44,825 --> 00:02:46,170 you can give her the scarf, 64 00:02:46,308 --> 00:02:47,388 and then you keep the nut clusters for yourself. 65 00:02:47,412 --> 00:02:48,457 I know how much you like them, 66 00:02:48,481 --> 00:02:49,757 and everybody walks away happy. 67 00:02:49,894 --> 00:02:52,274 You would do that. You would steal my thunder like that. 68 00:02:52,515 --> 00:02:53,515 Yeah. 69 00:02:54,239 --> 00:02:55,446 That hurts, Paulie. 70 00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:57,722 Oh, come on. She's my wife, 71 00:02:57,860 --> 00:02:59,042 and I've been wracking my brains. 72 00:02:59,066 --> 00:03:00,791 I'm totally out of ideas now. 73 00:03:00,929 --> 00:03:02,136 Oh, Paul... 74 00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:04,446 Ye of little imagination. 75 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:05,584 What's that? 76 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:07,515 Mother's Day offers the imaginative man 77 00:03:07,653 --> 00:03:08,964 a wealth of possibilities. 78 00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:10,274 Listen to him, Paulie. 79 00:03:10,412 --> 00:03:11,457 When it comes to Mother's Day, 80 00:03:11,481 --> 00:03:12,515 Marvin is the champ. 81 00:03:12,653 --> 00:03:13,929 All right, champ. 82 00:03:14,067 --> 00:03:15,629 I'm serious. Tell him what you're doing for your mom. 83 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,757 You know those giant video screens in Times Square, 84 00:03:17,895 --> 00:03:18,964 about a block high? 85 00:03:19,102 --> 00:03:20,102 It's amazing. 86 00:03:20,171 --> 00:03:21,388 I'm having a Mother's Day message 87 00:03:21,412 --> 00:03:22,791 displayed for her there. 88 00:03:22,929 --> 00:03:25,446 It'll be dazzling and special, 89 00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:27,791 and she'll love it. 90 00:03:27,929 --> 00:03:30,619 Okay. I'm giving Jamie the video screen message. 91 00:03:30,757 --> 00:03:32,137 No way! Yes, I am. 92 00:03:32,275 --> 00:03:33,388 Come on, come on. I'll give you the rocking chair, 93 00:03:33,412 --> 00:03:34,629 you can give it to your mother. 94 00:03:34,653 --> 00:03:35,791 You give Jamie the scarf, 95 00:03:35,929 --> 00:03:37,113 and then you guys split the nut clusters, 96 00:03:37,137 --> 00:03:38,354 and everybody walks away happy. 97 00:03:38,378 --> 00:03:40,206 Wait a minute. I don't even like nut clusters. 98 00:03:40,344 --> 00:03:41,447 I'll eat the nut clusters, all right? I'll eat 99 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,526 the nut clusters and I'll return the scarf. 100 00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:44,802 We'll both have a little message up on the Times Square board. 101 00:03:44,826 --> 00:03:46,216 You can give Jamie the rocking chair, like you wanted. 102 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,285 Everybody walks away happy. 103 00:03:47,309 --> 00:03:48,860 Not everybody. Yeah, but I do. 104 00:03:53,447 --> 00:03:54,527 All right, what do you think of this? 105 00:03:54,551 --> 00:03:57,482 "To Jamie, you're some kind of mom." 106 00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:58,929 Will she like that? 107 00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,147 Or you think, like, maybe she'll be wondering, 108 00:04:00,171 --> 00:04:01,791 you know? "Okay, I'm some kind of mom, 109 00:04:01,929 --> 00:04:03,723 but maybe he doesn't know what kind." 110 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:05,551 I can't imagine anybody taking it that way. 111 00:04:05,689 --> 00:04:06,729 What do you think, Marvin? 112 00:04:06,826 --> 00:04:07,929 You stole my idea. 113 00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:10,620 Don't be like that, Marvin. 114 00:04:11,516 --> 00:04:13,113 Why don't you have some joy in your heart 115 00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:14,837 that you reached out, and you helped your brother? 116 00:04:14,861 --> 00:04:16,516 Drop dead. If you can. 117 00:04:16,654 --> 00:04:19,137 "You're some kind of mom"? 118 00:04:19,275 --> 00:04:20,768 Did a light bulb appear above your head 119 00:04:20,792 --> 00:04:22,758 before you thought of that one? 120 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,689 What are you putting up there, big shot? 121 00:04:24,827 --> 00:04:26,447 Oh, wouldn't you like to know? 122 00:04:26,585 --> 00:04:28,896 Well, if you're gonna mock me, I'd like to see. 123 00:04:29,034 --> 00:04:30,102 Okay. 124 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,760 Just so you know what true artistry is. 125 00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:33,965 Look at this. 126 00:04:34,034 --> 00:04:35,620 Next, please. 127 00:04:35,758 --> 00:04:39,138 "Is there anything purer than your sweet love 128 00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:41,344 in Earth beneath or sky above?" 129 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,378 What? No, nothing. 130 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:44,861 It's a little schmaltzy, you know? 131 00:04:45,792 --> 00:04:46,792 No. 132 00:04:46,896 --> 00:04:48,482 Hey, hey, hey, easy, easy. 133 00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:50,310 Okay. That's all I need is this criticism 134 00:04:50,447 --> 00:04:52,310 from the author of "you're some kind of mom." 135 00:04:52,447 --> 00:04:54,034 All right, Marvin. 136 00:04:54,172 --> 00:04:55,758 What else have you written, Paul? 137 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,276 "Get well soon"? 138 00:04:57,414 --> 00:04:58,854 Just keep reading. Now, what you got? 139 00:04:58,896 --> 00:05:01,276 "No sunset has your warmth. 140 00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:03,103 No ocean has your depth. 141 00:05:03,241 --> 00:05:05,345 You hold me when I ache. 142 00:05:05,483 --> 00:05:07,723 You stroke me when I wepth." 143 00:05:10,654 --> 00:05:11,654 What? 144 00:05:13,276 --> 00:05:14,276 "Wepth"? 145 00:05:15,414 --> 00:05:16,414 What about it? 146 00:05:17,655 --> 00:05:18,690 Nothing. 147 00:05:18,827 --> 00:05:21,621 "Always thinking of your milky skin." 148 00:05:21,758 --> 00:05:23,310 Hmm. 149 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,310 "Your raspy little laugh, 150 00:05:25,448 --> 00:05:28,138 the time we talked till dawn." 151 00:05:28,276 --> 00:05:30,345 This is your actual biological mother? 152 00:05:31,483 --> 00:05:32,483 Read the ending. 153 00:05:32,621 --> 00:05:35,690 Oh. "Oh, so sweet, so coy, so sassy. 154 00:05:35,828 --> 00:05:38,793 I'll always love you, my beautiful Cassie." 155 00:05:39,931 --> 00:05:41,862 Cassie's... My mother. 156 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,793 Of course she is. Okay. All right, all right. 157 00:05:43,931 --> 00:05:46,138 And then after they show the message, 158 00:05:46,276 --> 00:05:48,414 I'm gonna have them scan in a picture of her. 159 00:05:48,552 --> 00:05:50,114 I'm gonna do that. That's a great idea, Marvin. 160 00:05:50,138 --> 00:05:51,448 Thank you for that idea. 161 00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:52,759 Next, please. 162 00:05:53,379 --> 00:05:54,517 Hi. How are you? 163 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,448 Here's what I've come up with so far. 164 00:05:56,586 --> 00:05:59,241 Is to my wife. "To Jamie, you're some kind of mom." 165 00:05:59,379 --> 00:06:00,828 What do you think of that? 166 00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:02,700 "You're some kind of mom." Is that good? You like that? 167 00:06:02,724 --> 00:06:04,379 It's the best one we've ever had. 168 00:06:10,448 --> 00:06:13,931 Wow. Isn't this lovely? 169 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,804 Wait till you hear what I'm doing for Jamie. What? 170 00:06:15,828 --> 00:06:19,277 At exactly 7:37, I'm gonna take her up to the Marriot Marquis, 171 00:06:19,415 --> 00:06:21,035 and we're gonna look out the window, 172 00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:23,322 and she's gonna see this huge and gigantic Mother's Day greeting 173 00:06:23,346 --> 00:06:26,242 That I wrote up on the Times Square screen. 174 00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:29,139 Wow. You are really pulling out all the stops. 175 00:06:29,277 --> 00:06:31,793 And I should know because I'm still using 176 00:06:31,931 --> 00:06:34,035 The bath powder you gave me last year. 177 00:06:35,759 --> 00:06:38,242 Ma, you know, don't you? 178 00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:40,173 There's a big surprise for you, too. 179 00:06:40,311 --> 00:06:43,000 Me? I don't need a fuss. I've had 'em. 180 00:06:43,139 --> 00:06:45,242 I'm ashamed to tell you how many Mother's Days. 181 00:06:46,587 --> 00:06:47,897 What kind of surprise? 182 00:06:48,035 --> 00:06:49,035 What's that? 183 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:50,139 What kind of surprise? 184 00:06:50,966 --> 00:06:51,966 A present. 185 00:06:52,035 --> 00:06:54,242 Big, very thoughtful present. 186 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,980 And a card. A card and present together with the card. One second. 187 00:06:57,656 --> 00:06:58,696 Okay, I got a big problem. 188 00:06:58,725 --> 00:06:59,736 I forgot to get mom a present. 189 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,380 Oh, Paul. 190 00:07:01,518 --> 00:07:02,277 I was so busy with the Jamie stuff, I totally slipped my mind. 191 00:07:02,415 --> 00:07:03,794 Did you get her anything? 192 00:07:03,932 --> 00:07:05,208 Yeah. Make it from both of us. 193 00:07:05,346 --> 00:07:06,760 No. Oh, come on. Why not? 194 00:07:06,898 --> 00:07:07,977 Because it's not the kind of thing... 195 00:07:08,001 --> 00:07:09,046 Oh, Debbie, please, please? 196 00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,691 Debbie please what? 197 00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:13,725 Okay. Uh, Ma, you remember last week 198 00:07:13,863 --> 00:07:15,725 when I took you to see The Scarlet Pimpernel? 199 00:07:15,863 --> 00:07:17,622 Yeah. Yeah, well, that was from Paul, too. 200 00:07:23,898 --> 00:07:24,898 Told ya. 201 00:07:27,209 --> 00:07:28,380 I'm sorry, Ma. It's just... 202 00:07:28,518 --> 00:07:30,622 In my myopia, I forgot. 203 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:31,794 Fine. 204 00:07:31,932 --> 00:07:33,140 In my myopia, I'm saying. 205 00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:35,001 Paul, please, it's nothing. 206 00:07:36,174 --> 00:07:38,036 Really? Nothing. 207 00:07:38,898 --> 00:07:40,794 She says it's nothing, but in fact... 208 00:07:40,932 --> 00:07:41,932 Yeah. It's something. 209 00:07:43,485 --> 00:07:45,622 Now, hold the calendar a little higher. 210 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:46,760 Point to the date. 211 00:07:47,725 --> 00:07:49,347 What's the matter with this damn thing? 212 00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:51,623 Oh, Burt, are you okay? 213 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,278 Hey, how are you? Jamie Buchman? 214 00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:54,725 Uh, no, but... 215 00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:55,794 I don't care who you are. 216 00:07:55,829 --> 00:07:56,829 Just sign here. 217 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,174 Okay. Here you go. 218 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,416 "Klondike Pete"? 219 00:08:00,554 --> 00:08:02,514 Yeah, well, you don't care who I am. There you go. 220 00:08:04,519 --> 00:08:07,036 More flowers for you. Oh! From Mark and Fran. 221 00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:08,174 Oh, how sweet. 222 00:08:08,243 --> 00:08:09,288 Isn't that nice? I'll put this 223 00:08:09,312 --> 00:08:11,485 with the other 743,000 flowers. 224 00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:13,623 Oh, how nice. Ma... 225 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,450 I'm saying, "how nice." 226 00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:18,795 Okay, I think we should open some presents. 227 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,347 There's a good idea, opening gifts. 228 00:08:20,485 --> 00:08:23,795 Oh, what a lovely looking rocking chair. 229 00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:26,037 Good idea. We'll start with something big. 230 00:08:26,174 --> 00:08:28,657 No. I think there may be something here for you, Deb. 231 00:08:28,795 --> 00:08:32,554 Oh, from Ira. "With love to my favorite mother Jamie." 232 00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:34,864 Oh, my God! 233 00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:37,244 Oh, my God. 234 00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:48,795 Cake? Yeah, cake. 235 00:08:48,864 --> 00:08:50,450 Cake! That's a good idea. 236 00:08:50,588 --> 00:08:52,188 Come on in and have some of Jamie's cake. 237 00:08:52,279 --> 00:08:53,692 Cake for all the mothers. 238 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,002 Later for me. 239 00:09:23,762 --> 00:09:24,899 Help me! 240 00:09:26,002 --> 00:09:27,002 Ma? Oh, my God! 241 00:09:27,071 --> 00:09:28,279 Sylvia! Are you okay? 242 00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:29,693 I've broken a leg. 243 00:09:29,831 --> 00:09:30,831 Are you sure? 244 00:09:30,934 --> 00:09:32,244 Oh, it's definitely broken. 245 00:09:32,382 --> 00:09:34,324 All right, Sylvia. Don't move. I'm gonna call an ambulance. 246 00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:36,555 Oh, no, no, please, dear. 247 00:09:36,693 --> 00:09:38,037 Finish your cake, 248 00:09:38,175 --> 00:09:40,141 then we'll worry about me. 249 00:09:47,313 --> 00:09:48,555 How do you feel, Ma? 250 00:09:48,693 --> 00:09:50,038 I'm fine, thank you. 251 00:09:50,176 --> 00:09:51,520 Don't be so concerned. 252 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:52,658 It's only a limb. 253 00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:53,693 Oh, Ma. 254 00:09:55,589 --> 00:09:57,520 You know what's really killing me? 255 00:09:57,658 --> 00:09:58,693 The cling. 256 00:09:58,831 --> 00:09:59,831 The what? 257 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,107 The static cling. 258 00:10:01,245 --> 00:10:03,555 My pants are clinging to the sheets, 259 00:10:03,693 --> 00:10:05,107 it's driving me crazy. 260 00:10:06,451 --> 00:10:07,589 God bless you, Sylvia, 261 00:10:07,727 --> 00:10:09,865 worrying about static cling at a time like this. 262 00:10:10,003 --> 00:10:11,658 Do me a favor. Get me the static guard. 263 00:10:11,796 --> 00:10:13,038 It's in my purse. Thank you. 264 00:10:13,176 --> 00:10:14,176 Sure, Ma. 265 00:10:14,762 --> 00:10:15,762 You poor thing. 266 00:10:15,831 --> 00:10:17,934 I feel so terrible that this happened. 267 00:10:18,072 --> 00:10:21,142 All I can say is better me than you. 268 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,107 Found the doctor. 269 00:10:23,245 --> 00:10:25,383 Mrs. Buchman, hi, I'm Dr. Hill. 270 00:10:25,521 --> 00:10:26,969 Doctor, thank goodness. 271 00:10:27,107 --> 00:10:28,314 Let's take a look, shall we? 272 00:10:28,452 --> 00:10:29,487 Yes. 273 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:32,865 Mrs. Buchman... 274 00:10:32,969 --> 00:10:33,979 You do what you have to do. 275 00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:35,003 Okay. 276 00:10:35,072 --> 00:10:36,072 Ow. 277 00:10:36,142 --> 00:10:38,038 Oh, boy, Mom's got some grip, huh? 278 00:10:38,176 --> 00:10:39,659 How would you describe the pain? 279 00:10:39,797 --> 00:10:41,072 Like a squeezing sensation. 280 00:10:42,728 --> 00:10:44,245 I can't even feel the pinky. It's so. 281 00:10:44,934 --> 00:10:45,934 Your mom's pain. 282 00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,452 Of course, of course. 283 00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:50,245 It's unrelenting and severe. 284 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,280 Oh, my little fragile dove. 285 00:10:52,832 --> 00:10:53,832 Ah! Ohh! 286 00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:54,901 Bad there? 287 00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:56,728 Oh, my God. 288 00:10:56,866 --> 00:10:59,073 You go ahead. Do what you have to do. 289 00:10:59,211 --> 00:11:01,142 You're a very brave woman, Mrs. Buchman. 290 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,935 I know. 291 00:11:03,073 --> 00:11:05,590 All right. I wanna send you over for a couple of X-rays, 292 00:11:05,728 --> 00:11:06,728 just in case. 293 00:11:06,763 --> 00:11:07,935 Oh, my God. 294 00:11:08,073 --> 00:11:09,590 Why don't you all meet her back here 295 00:11:09,728 --> 00:11:10,728 in about 25 minutes? 296 00:11:10,763 --> 00:11:11,763 Okay, okay. 297 00:11:11,832 --> 00:11:12,935 Bye, Ma. We love you. 298 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,325 We'll see you shortly, sweetheart. 299 00:11:14,349 --> 00:11:15,349 Courage, Sylvia. 300 00:11:17,004 --> 00:11:19,177 Best mom in the world, that's what you are. 301 00:11:19,315 --> 00:11:21,521 I'd wave, except for the pain. 302 00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:23,970 Those darn Amish. 303 00:11:24,281 --> 00:11:25,452 Amish? 304 00:11:25,590 --> 00:11:27,084 Well, they invented the rocking chair, didn't they? 305 00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:28,315 I don't think it was them. 306 00:11:28,452 --> 00:11:29,808 I forgot my coat. I'll meet you down there. 307 00:11:29,832 --> 00:11:31,728 They invented the shoehorn years ago. 308 00:11:43,212 --> 00:11:44,212 Hi, Sylvia. 309 00:11:45,901 --> 00:11:47,660 I was, uh... You know... 310 00:11:47,797 --> 00:11:50,522 I was just testing it out. 311 00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:51,660 How'd that go for you? 312 00:11:52,729 --> 00:11:55,004 Oh, fine. It's fine. 313 00:11:55,143 --> 00:11:56,281 Responded well, the leg? 314 00:11:56,419 --> 00:11:58,384 Surprisingly well, yes. 315 00:11:58,522 --> 00:12:00,522 Sylvia, you didn't actually hurt your leg, did you? 316 00:12:00,626 --> 00:12:02,833 Sure, I did. Sylvia. 317 00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:05,970 Well, for your information, even as we speak, 318 00:12:06,108 --> 00:12:10,695 I'm in the midst of wave upon wave of searing pain. 319 00:12:10,833 --> 00:12:12,039 Sylvia. 320 00:12:12,177 --> 00:12:15,108 I mean, walk a mile in my shoes before you judge. 321 00:12:15,246 --> 00:12:17,177 Not that you could, in my condition. 322 00:12:18,695 --> 00:12:20,040 Sylvia. 323 00:12:20,177 --> 00:12:23,005 All right. I didn't hurt my leg. 324 00:12:24,246 --> 00:12:27,246 I mean, you have one baby, and suddenly I'm nothing. 325 00:12:27,384 --> 00:12:28,384 What? 326 00:12:28,453 --> 00:12:29,705 I mean, it's not that I begrudge you 327 00:12:29,729 --> 00:12:31,695 the outpouring of love from your family. 328 00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:32,833 No, of course not. 329 00:12:32,971 --> 00:12:34,557 Except when it comes at my expense. 330 00:12:35,453 --> 00:12:36,453 I understand. 331 00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:38,350 I'm so ashamed. 332 00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:39,729 Oh, no. Sylvia, don't be. 333 00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,074 No, I'm ashamed. No, don't be. 334 00:12:41,213 --> 00:12:42,626 I'm telling you I'm ashamed! 335 00:12:42,764 --> 00:12:44,385 Then be ashamed, be ashamed. 336 00:12:44,522 --> 00:12:46,488 For God's sakes, someone says they're ashamed, 337 00:12:46,626 --> 00:12:48,522 let them be ashamed. 338 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:54,282 I shudder to think of the weakness of character that I have shown. 339 00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,005 Sylvia. 340 00:12:56,074 --> 00:12:57,258 You won't tell anyone, will you? 341 00:12:57,282 --> 00:12:58,282 No. Of course not. 342 00:12:58,351 --> 00:13:00,040 Because I would die of the humiliation. 343 00:13:00,178 --> 00:13:01,247 I won't tell them. 344 00:13:01,385 --> 00:13:03,145 They'll take the x-rays, they'll be negative, 345 00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:05,287 I'll limp around a little, I'll get a little better, 346 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,627 and then it'll be like our little secret. 347 00:13:07,764 --> 00:13:08,764 I promise. 348 00:13:10,144 --> 00:13:11,213 Thank you. 349 00:13:11,351 --> 00:13:12,351 You're welcome. 350 00:13:12,902 --> 00:13:14,144 You're a good girl. 351 00:13:15,765 --> 00:13:16,765 Thank you. 352 00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,489 Maybe I should've given you... 353 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:21,144 A fairer shake all these years. 354 00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:23,178 Why, Sylvia... 355 00:13:23,247 --> 00:13:24,767 Yeah, yeah, right. What's done is done. 356 00:13:41,730 --> 00:13:42,834 Boss. 357 00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:44,454 Marvin, what are you doing here? 358 00:13:44,592 --> 00:13:46,672 It's only half an hour until your Times Square message. 359 00:13:46,696 --> 00:13:48,179 Cassie and I just had a fight. 360 00:13:48,316 --> 00:13:49,765 Cassie? My mother. 361 00:13:50,214 --> 00:13:51,316 Oh, yeah. 362 00:13:51,454 --> 00:13:52,834 A fight? About what? 363 00:13:52,972 --> 00:13:55,110 She got real flirty with the taxi driver. 364 00:13:55,248 --> 00:13:56,523 I hate when she does that. 365 00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,385 Oh. And I told her so. 366 00:13:58,523 --> 00:14:00,323 I said, "how do you think that makes me feel?" 367 00:14:00,386 --> 00:14:01,696 One thing led to another. 368 00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,523 She said she didn't need this crap. 369 00:14:03,661 --> 00:14:06,041 She got out of the cab and rushed home. 370 00:14:06,455 --> 00:14:07,455 Wow. 371 00:14:07,523 --> 00:14:08,523 Women. 372 00:14:09,317 --> 00:14:10,317 Yeah, yeah. 373 00:14:10,386 --> 00:14:11,386 They just don't get it. 374 00:14:11,455 --> 00:14:13,421 No. You know what? They really don't. 375 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,110 But it hurts so much. 376 00:14:16,248 --> 00:14:18,799 Hey, Marvin, we've all been there, you know? 377 00:14:18,937 --> 00:14:19,937 Well, sort of. 378 00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:23,559 Hey, boss, will you do me a favor? 379 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,696 Will you talk to her? 380 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:25,868 What, me? 381 00:14:26,006 --> 00:14:28,662 Yeah. Just tell her how bad I feel, 382 00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:30,352 and how much I love her. 383 00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:32,179 Ask her if she'll ever see me again. 384 00:14:32,317 --> 00:14:34,662 Marvin, I don't wanna meddle in family business. 385 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,145 But I feel so empty without her. 386 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,628 The air's a dusty gray, 387 00:14:40,766 --> 00:14:43,006 food has no taste, 388 00:14:43,145 --> 00:14:46,766 and sleep is just a shallow, sarcastic illusion. 389 00:14:46,904 --> 00:14:48,524 You haven't even been to sleep yet. 390 00:14:48,662 --> 00:14:49,697 I'm predicting. 391 00:14:49,835 --> 00:14:52,800 Marvin, I will go, I will talk to her. 392 00:14:52,938 --> 00:14:54,283 You take care of this, okay? 393 00:14:54,421 --> 00:14:55,524 I will. Okay. 394 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:56,662 Thank you. 395 00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,386 And tell Cassie that I love her. 396 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,524 Cassie? 397 00:15:00,593 --> 00:15:01,697 My mother. 398 00:15:08,524 --> 00:15:09,524 Mom? 399 00:15:10,007 --> 00:15:11,146 Hi. Oh... 400 00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:14,042 All you people, you walk so quietly. 401 00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:17,421 Wow. Somebody seems to be feeling a little better. 402 00:15:17,559 --> 00:15:19,662 Ohh... I only wish. 403 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,146 The X-ray girl noticed that my polish was chipping, 404 00:15:23,284 --> 00:15:24,456 so I fought through the pain. 405 00:15:24,593 --> 00:15:25,973 Oh. 406 00:15:26,111 --> 00:15:28,151 You fought through the pain to polish your toenails? 407 00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:29,904 What? When a woman's in pain, 408 00:15:30,042 --> 00:15:31,180 she needs to feel pretty. 409 00:15:31,593 --> 00:15:33,697 Yes. 410 00:15:33,835 --> 00:15:35,955 Sylvia, doesn't it hurt your leg to bend it like that? 411 00:15:36,042 --> 00:15:38,491 Well, I'm obviously in shock. 412 00:15:38,629 --> 00:15:40,146 Wait a minute, wait a minute, Ma. 413 00:15:40,284 --> 00:15:41,938 Wasn't it the other leg that you hurt? 414 00:15:42,076 --> 00:15:44,835 Deb, I'm sure Sylvia knows which leg she hurt. 415 00:15:44,973 --> 00:15:48,146 No, she's right because when we found you, 416 00:15:48,284 --> 00:15:49,594 you were on your right side. 417 00:15:49,732 --> 00:15:51,212 Remember, you fell on your right side, 418 00:15:51,249 --> 00:15:52,260 which means you would've broken the right leg. 419 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,284 You don't know that. 420 00:15:53,422 --> 00:15:54,605 How else would that have happened? 421 00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:55,629 Maybe she bounced. 422 00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,570 She bounced from the left side over to her right side. 423 00:16:00,594 --> 00:16:01,905 Maybe. 424 00:16:02,042 --> 00:16:03,398 You know, when you come to think of it, 425 00:16:03,422 --> 00:16:05,732 how did you catapult out of that chair anyway, mom? 426 00:16:05,870 --> 00:16:06,905 Well, I... Debbie... 427 00:16:07,042 --> 00:16:10,698 Clearly she lost control of the chair. 428 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:11,905 Lost control? 429 00:16:12,043 --> 00:16:13,767 What is it, a Lamborghini now? 430 00:16:15,422 --> 00:16:17,353 She lost control of the chair. 431 00:16:17,491 --> 00:16:21,147 She was rocking excitedly, and she lost control. 432 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,525 She catapulted herself out of the chair, 433 00:16:23,663 --> 00:16:25,387 and onto the floor, 434 00:16:25,525 --> 00:16:28,387 landing on and severely injuring her left leg, 435 00:16:28,525 --> 00:16:31,077 whereupon she apparently bounced, 436 00:16:32,181 --> 00:16:34,147 coming to land on her right side. 437 00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:36,043 Is that right, Sylvia? 438 00:16:36,181 --> 00:16:37,422 Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. 439 00:16:38,008 --> 00:16:39,112 See? Yeah. 440 00:16:41,147 --> 00:16:42,216 What? 441 00:16:42,354 --> 00:16:44,354 Nothing. I just find it hard to believe 442 00:16:44,492 --> 00:16:46,663 that my mother would just bounce over like that. 443 00:16:47,698 --> 00:16:50,285 My God, my God, my God. What are you saying? 444 00:16:50,423 --> 00:16:52,801 Are you saying that she faked an injury? 445 00:16:52,939 --> 00:16:54,595 And why? Just to get attention? 446 00:16:54,732 --> 00:16:55,777 Is that what you're saying? 447 00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:56,801 No, of course not. 448 00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:58,390 Then come on, apologize to your mother. 449 00:16:58,423 --> 00:16:59,468 No. We weren't saying anything. Jamie, I... 450 00:16:59,492 --> 00:17:01,905 You both apologize to your mother. 451 00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:03,630 I'm sorry. Sorry, Mom. 452 00:17:03,767 --> 00:17:05,388 No, really, we were very thoughtless. 453 00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:07,006 Thoughtless, thoughtless, thoughtless. 454 00:17:07,077 --> 00:17:09,526 Thank you. Jeez. 455 00:17:09,664 --> 00:17:11,624 I can only hope that my children have more respect 456 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,261 if I ever injured myself on Mother's Day... 457 00:17:13,285 --> 00:17:14,457 Jamie... Yeah? 458 00:17:17,423 --> 00:17:19,595 I think I made my point. 459 00:17:19,733 --> 00:17:23,388 Well, Mrs. Buchman, your fibula and tibia are integrated, 460 00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:24,975 longitudinally aligned, 461 00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:27,526 and still articulating in concert with your femur. 462 00:17:27,664 --> 00:17:28,664 What? 463 00:17:28,733 --> 00:17:29,802 You're fine. 464 00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,526 Isn't that nice? 465 00:17:31,664 --> 00:17:35,388 But considering the pain that you are clearly in, 466 00:17:35,526 --> 00:17:36,664 something is probably amiss, 467 00:17:36,802 --> 00:17:38,388 and we really should immobilize the leg. 468 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,182 Immobilize? 469 00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:42,595 The cast should stay on for six to eight weeks, 470 00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:44,493 and then we'll take it from there, all right? 471 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:45,802 Good. 472 00:17:46,388 --> 00:17:47,768 A cast? Really? 473 00:17:47,906 --> 00:17:49,768 This is the price you pay 474 00:17:49,906 --> 00:17:52,044 when you take a horrible spill. 475 00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:55,595 Okay. 476 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:56,882 In a moment, someone will be in 477 00:17:56,906 --> 00:17:58,146 to wheel you up to orthopedics. 478 00:17:58,217 --> 00:17:59,468 Why don't you guys meet her up there? 479 00:17:59,492 --> 00:18:00,492 Okay. 480 00:18:00,561 --> 00:18:01,561 Great, fine. Okay, good. 481 00:18:01,699 --> 00:18:03,078 Hold tight, buttercup. 482 00:18:04,286 --> 00:18:05,286 See ya. 483 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,527 What a good Ma. 484 00:18:08,424 --> 00:18:09,424 All right. 485 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:17,148 I can't believe that I accused my own mother of faking an injury. 486 00:18:17,286 --> 00:18:18,813 I know, sweetie. We've all had a tough day. 487 00:18:18,837 --> 00:18:20,733 And on Mother's Day, I... Ohh!! 488 00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:22,044 What? 489 00:18:22,182 --> 00:18:24,054 Now we're gonna miss your Mother's Day surprise. 490 00:18:24,078 --> 00:18:25,078 Why? 491 00:18:25,148 --> 00:18:26,871 Because it's across town, 492 00:18:27,009 --> 00:18:28,469 and we gotta be there in just a minute. 493 00:18:28,493 --> 00:18:29,871 Can't we make it if we hurry? 494 00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,148 Maybe, but don't you think we should be here for mom? 495 00:18:33,355 --> 00:18:34,389 I think we can go. 496 00:18:39,941 --> 00:18:40,941 Did you talk to her? 497 00:18:41,009 --> 00:18:42,251 Yes, Marvin, I did. 498 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:43,389 And? 499 00:18:43,458 --> 00:18:45,458 And she is a very lovely lady. 500 00:18:45,596 --> 00:18:46,596 And? Really lovely. 501 00:18:46,665 --> 00:18:48,803 And I must say, attractive and youthful. 502 00:18:48,941 --> 00:18:49,941 And? 503 00:18:50,010 --> 00:18:51,527 And I told her what you said. 504 00:18:51,941 --> 00:18:52,941 And? 505 00:18:53,010 --> 00:18:54,320 And she forgives you. 506 00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:55,700 Really? Yes. 507 00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:57,389 Wow. 508 00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,114 Thank you, boss, thank you. 509 00:18:59,251 --> 00:19:00,451 No problem. Thank you so much. 510 00:19:00,527 --> 00:19:01,917 Listen, do me a favor, will you, if you don't mind? 511 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,320 Stick around till closing and lock up for me. 512 00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:05,458 Why? 513 00:19:05,527 --> 00:19:07,114 Nothing. I got a little date. 514 00:19:09,631 --> 00:19:10,734 With who, Cheryl? 515 00:19:10,872 --> 00:19:12,149 Uh... No. 516 00:19:12,596 --> 00:19:13,596 Molly. 517 00:19:13,734 --> 00:19:14,803 Uh, no. 518 00:19:14,941 --> 00:19:15,941 Rebecca? 519 00:19:16,425 --> 00:19:17,425 No. 520 00:19:18,252 --> 00:19:19,252 Sarah? 521 00:19:19,803 --> 00:19:20,803 No. 522 00:19:22,010 --> 00:19:23,494 Oh, God. Marvin. 523 00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:26,079 You're going on a date with my mother. 524 00:19:26,769 --> 00:19:27,838 It is not a date. 525 00:19:28,494 --> 00:19:29,734 Where you taking her? 526 00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:31,435 Actually, we were thinking of staying in. 527 00:19:31,459 --> 00:19:32,494 Baaaa! 528 00:19:39,976 --> 00:19:41,872 What it is, it's just the tallest, 529 00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:43,838 most elaborate Mother's Day card ever. 530 00:19:43,976 --> 00:19:44,976 Oops. Sorry. 531 00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:46,597 Just hope we didn't miss it. 532 00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:50,010 Oh... 533 00:19:50,079 --> 00:19:51,735 Maybe it's after this lame one. 534 00:19:53,287 --> 00:19:55,010 "You're some kind of mom." 535 00:19:55,770 --> 00:19:56,986 Bet a light bulb really went off 536 00:19:57,010 --> 00:19:58,010 over that guy's head. 537 00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:00,942 Yeah. 538 00:20:01,079 --> 00:20:02,528 That is lame, huh? 539 00:20:02,666 --> 00:20:04,390 It's not even clear. What is that? 540 00:20:04,528 --> 00:20:05,666 "Some kind of mom"? 541 00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:07,218 What kind of mom is she, guy? 542 00:20:08,321 --> 00:20:10,161 I don't know if anybody would be thinking that. 543 00:20:10,804 --> 00:20:12,046 Well... Whatever. 544 00:20:12,183 --> 00:20:13,183 So I guess we missed it. 545 00:20:13,287 --> 00:20:14,425 Oh, honey! What? 546 00:20:14,563 --> 00:20:18,080 "Is there anything purer than your sweet love 547 00:20:18,219 --> 00:20:21,597 in Earth beneath or sky above? 548 00:20:21,735 --> 00:20:24,115 No sunset has your warmth. 549 00:20:24,804 --> 00:20:26,666 No ocean has your depth. 550 00:20:26,804 --> 00:20:29,184 You hold me when I ache. 551 00:20:29,322 --> 00:20:32,322 You stroke me when I wepth." 552 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,942 Honey, is that your message to me? 553 00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:40,115 Yes, it is. 554 00:20:52,873 --> 00:20:54,150 You really know me. 555 00:20:55,804 --> 00:20:57,150 If not me, then who? 556 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,219 And then she told me that she never really loved me. 557 00:21:24,771 --> 00:21:26,598 And then she held me one more time, 558 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,081 and then she opened the door, and she just left. 559 00:21:33,151 --> 00:21:35,012 She just walked right out of my life, 560 00:21:35,151 --> 00:21:37,185 and she's never coming back again. 561 00:21:39,254 --> 00:21:42,633 And I'm never ever gonna see your mother ever again. 562 00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:46,185 I-I'm sorry, boss. 563 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,012 I really am. 564 00:21:49,426 --> 00:21:50,426 So... 565 00:21:50,529 --> 00:21:51,598 She's available. 566 00:22:38,047 --> 00:22:40,599 And then she told me that she never really loved me. 567 00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:43,806 And then she held me one more time, 568 00:22:45,185 --> 00:22:47,427 and then she opened the door, and she just left. 569 00:22:50,013 --> 00:22:52,152 She just walked right out of my life, 570 00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:54,358 and she's never coming back again. 571 00:22:56,461 --> 00:22:59,979 And I'm never ever gonna see your mother ever again. 572 00:23:01,841 --> 00:23:03,496 I-I'm sorry, boss. 573 00:23:04,117 --> 00:23:05,530 I really am. 574 00:23:06,772 --> 00:23:07,772 So... 575 00:23:07,841 --> 00:23:08,841 She's available.